This is written as satire–in the real world it may not be very funny.
Do you really think spending $250,000 on an education is valuable? Between the bullying, hate mongering, racism and lack of useable information, basket weaving would be better—or learning how to fill taco shells.
“1) A house filled with a lifetime supply of food: But you paid for college instead. Now, you get to work for the rest of your life paying off a house as well as your college debt!
2) Training on how to be a long-haul trucker making 80K per year, plus 3 Ferarris: You mean your college recruiter didn’t mention this?
3) 300 mail-order brides from Ukraine: The prices have never been lower!
Unless you are taking a science, you are wasting your time and money.
10 Things You Could Have Purchased With Your College Money
January 24th, 2022 – BabylonBee.com,
Brought to you by:
Congratulations! You’ve graduated from college and now have a piece of paper that says you’re smart! Unfortunately, you’ll probably be poor and in debt for the rest of your life. Here are ten things you could’ve bought with your money in lieu of a college education.
1) A house filled with a lifetime supply of food: But you paid for college instead. Now, you get to work for the rest of your life paying off a house as well as your college debt!
2) Training on how to be a long-haul trucker making 80K per year, plus 3 Ferarris: You mean your college recruiter didn’t mention this?
3) 300 mail-order brides from Ukraine: The prices have never been lower!
4) All the equipment you need to rob Caesar’s, the Bellagio, and the MGM Grand in one night with an elite team of 11 handsome men: Too bad. Instead, you spent all your time in class when you could have been cozying up to the suave criminal underground.
5) 35 college educations from 1980, including the time travel: It’s insane that more people don’t do this.
6) A friggin’ spaceship: You could have had a real spaceship, or at least a ridden on a billionaire’s spaceship. Sad.
7) A tank of gas and some groceries in California: Thanks, inflation!
8) Hunter Biden on your company’s board for 4 months: Instead, you were forced to sit through his virtual political science course. Yawn.
9) In-person brainwashing from Ibram X. Kendi for 4 months: Instead, you sat in a dark lecture hall watching all his white privilege lectures on a crappy screen like a chump.
10) One NFT of an ape with a bored expression on his face: We live in strange times.
