Eber: Mother’s Day Abolished

The Left want to eliminate woman.  They are doing it in sports—very successfully.  Now, with the support of Hallmark and other WOKE corporations, they want to eliminate Mother’s Day.

“As a suitable substitute for this occasion, which normally requires serving breakfast in bed on the second Sunday in May, perhaps a non-offensive alternative can be offered?  Birthing People’s Day just does not seem to work for former Dads.

Utilizing  a proper noun free (woke approved) template , how about changing this holiday to “Its, It Day? “

Once you get rid of Mothers Day, is Fathers Day next?  But, March was National Maple Syrup Day!!  A few weeks ago we have National Donut Day.  It other words, we prefer food to parents.  How sick is that?

Mother’s Day Abolished by Richard Eber

Richard Eber, Exclusive to the California Political News and Views  5/11/23   www.capoliticalreview.com

Who can forget George Costanza of Seinfeld fame?  When told that his fiancé had died from being poisoned licking envelopes in sending out their wedding invitations, George wondered if he still had to get married?

Little did we know George’s ordeal was preparing us for Woke world as it has progressed in recent days.  Because of them eliminating vocabulary words distinguishing males from females, efforts are being made to change the names of holidays.

The Berkeley model of striking down reference to gender in their city charter, will likely soon become the law of the land.

I guess a good place to start with the re-education process is the occasion formally known as Mother’s Day.

Apparently in some quarters, it will no longer be recognized.  Our woke masters have triumphed once again.  In their minds, since men and women can both give birth, why give gals all the credit for bringing children into the world?

No doubt a revised edition of The Facts of Life will need to be written to explain these changes to a confused public.  Most school children will not be affected as their sex education training now begins as toddlers in government sponsored daycare.

With Mother’s Day being cancelled, I no longer have to send a Hallmark card, a dozen roses, and/or a partially consumed box of Whitman’s Samplers to the former Mother of my children. No more trips to see Tom Shane to purchase jewelry will be necessary.

As a suitable substitute for this occasion, which normally requires serving breakfast in bed on the second Sunday in May, perhaps a non-offensive alternative can be offered?  Birthing People’s Day just does not seem to work for former Dads.

Utilizing  a proper noun free (woke approved) template , how about changing this holiday to “Its, It Day?

The only problem is, there may be copyright infringement with the beloved  It’s It ice cream bar that originated at San Francisco’s long gone Playland at the Beach.

As they say in the trade for Mother’s Day, “Wait till next year”

Hopefully,  Hallmark can at least come up with a name that will encourage sending  greeting cards to the appropriate party?

Unfortunately, the less celebrated Father’s Day will likely meet with a similar fate. There would no longer be confusion determining who should be congratulated as men are expected to no longer exist.

Since “Sperm Donner Day” doesn’t sound very appealing, purchasing a gift certificate for me at Home Depot would be unnecessary in 2023.  The same goes for neckties both narrow and wide!

What a relief to be taken off the hook for answering the dreaded question of solar panel peddlers “May I speak to the man of the house?”

As we are to live in a genderless society, it is no longer necessary to separate the men from the boys or little girls from being women.  Everyone is allowed to be any gender desired depending on mood, day of the week, or when garbage collection is to take place.

Religious holidays will be on the shopping block as well.  How can we celebrate Easter, as Christ was a man?  The same holds true for Christmas which commemorates when the son of God was born.

Small children will need to adjust to sitting on the gender-neutral lap of Santa.  His means of transportation will need to be altered as well.  How can a male reindeer such as Rudolf ever be considered a leader when a previously female or transgender animals be available to man the sleigh?

There is also concern if biological female reindeers will be strong enough to carry all the toys to children on what was once called Christmas Eve.  This will be a difficult task as social change often comes slowly at the North Pole.

Some other notable occasions may be adversely affected by our enlightened gender free society.  Among the casualties are expected to be  Columbus Day, George Washington’s Birthday, Martin Luther King Day, Caesar Chavez’s Birthday etc.  Even President’s Day will need to be canceled as there has never been a women formally in charge at the White House.

Among the new casualties are expected to  be Women’s History Month and International Women’s Day next month.  It will be difficult to celebrate these moments because women will no longer be able to be differentiated from men.  Throwing in transgender and declines to State to this equation will undoubtably result in more confusion.

New State approved holiday’s will need to be created or banks will be open virtually every day nor will workers get any needed time off.

Where does one take a stand to fight the woke attack on proper nouns. For me this is my birthday which occurs each year on March 17th St. Patrick’s Day.

It will be a sad occasion when the world is deprived of green beer, corned beef, and bars filled with drunks willing to toast the man who brought Christianity to the Emerald Isle.

As St. Patrick was proclaimed to be given his title by popular demand, can’t we allow to have this beloved fellow receive deserved accolades once a year?  In a recent poll, nine out of ten Leprechauns desire to maintain the status quo.

Isn’t this enough?

This might be a difficult job as woke Reality Coordinators (RC’s) are afraid if they make exceptions, discipline will be broken among the masses.

I give up!

How about living by the words of Rodney King, “People, I just want to say, can’t we all get along? “