Joe Biden, in his mentally reduced state, prayed for a miracle—and got one. Russia hackers closed down an oil pipeline. By doing so, the Russians helped Biden and Harris raise the cost of gas faster than the moratorium on new oil drilling and higher taxes could. Immediately, Biden got long lines of cars waiting for gas—just as his favorite president, Jimmie Carter did in the 1970’s.
Carter gave us inflation—Biden replicated that. Carter caused unemployment to go up—Biden is proud of making more people unemployed and unemployable (he is bringing in tens of thousands of foreigners to take American jobs—just like Carter.
Instead of calling this the Biden/Harris Administration it would be more accurate to call this the Carter/Biden/Harris/Putin Administration.
While this article was written as satire—it is an accurate portrayal of the facts. It is not satire, it is a disaster identified.
BabylonBee.com, 5/11/21
WASHINGTON, D.C.—In the days following the Colonial Pipeline hack, gas stations have begun to run out of fuel, creating a panic for many. As for the President of the United States, this has come as a relief when considering all the other crises that have been nagging his presidency.
“Finally, a distraction!” said Biden letting out a sigh of relief. “It was either ‘inflation crisis’ this, or ‘unemployment crisis’ that, and I don’t even want to hear the words ‘border crisis’ again. I was like– would you just shut up man?!”
Biden explained that all of this negative coverage was starting to make him look bad. He said that things like his wild federal spending, paying people not to work, and soft border policies have nothing to do with the current state of the country. “Hopefully, a good old-fashioned gas price hike and shortage will finally give me a quieter news cycle.”
“People keep directing the blame at me like I’m supposed to do something about this. But c’mon man — that ain’t the President’s job. It’s up to the American people to come together, and unify to solve this stuff,” Biden continued. “And anyway, everyone should just pony up and drive a Tesla. Get with the times, and save the planet, Jack. It’s common sense.”
At publishing time, Biden tried to sign some executive orders to increase our national cybersecurity and resume construction of the Keystone pipeline, but his pen was out of ink from all the other orders he’d signed.
