CDC Still Baffled People Are Paying Attention To Them

The CDC publishing death tolls from the vaccine—but tells us to ignore them.  With all the science showing the vaccine is dangerous, maybe the most dangerous experimental drug in history, they continue to promote it.  Studies read by the CDC show masks are worthless—and now the head of the CDC wants us to lockdown for 15 days and that would solve the “crisis”.  Guess she does not remember Lying Fauci saying the same thing, and he destroyed our economy.

““This whole pandemic has been bizarre for us,” said CDC spokesman Dexter Park. “Normally, we put out recommendations like only cook a steak well-done and only fry eggs over-hard, and people don’t even pay enough attention to make fun of us, so people acting like what we say during the pandemic matters is really confusing.”

I trust the advice about the scamdemic from the Channel 4 news anchor as much as I trust the CDC—which is to say ZERO.

Think this is satire—only the CDC is making a joke from this crisis.

CDC Still Baffled People Are Paying Attention To Them

BabylonBee.com, 8/1/21   

ATLANTA, GA—The CDC has once again changed course, recommending that people wear masks indoors, even those who have received the COVID-19 vaccination. Many people have reacted angrily to this decision—greatly confusing the CDC, which is used to being completely ignored.

“This whole pandemic has been bizarre for us,” said CDC spokesman Dexter Park. “Normally, we put out recommendations like only cook a steak well-done and only fry eggs over-hard, and people don’t even pay enough attention to make fun of us, so people acting like what we say during the pandemic matters is really confusing.”

The CDC is a group of bureaucrats used to working a 9-to-5 job of complete pointlessness, making lists of recommendations that are fated to be crumpled up and thrown in a wastepaper basket. Thus, the pandemic turning them into experts whose opinions matter has caught them completely by surprise.

“People keep saying our suggestions on masking are dumb and make no sense,” said CDC regulator Lyle Howell. “But that’s all of our suggestions on everything. We have to keep making recommendations, though, to justify our existence and get a budget. But no one listens to them—not even us. So can’t you all just go back to ignoring us and stop yelling at us? I’m just here until I get my pension.”