What do you call dead people voting, luggage showing up with ballots in the middle of the night and the refusal to audit the vote machines? Some would call it an insurrection or a coup. That is what happened on November 3, 2020 in several States.
Yesterday San Nan Nan celebrated her refusal to defend the Capitol, bring out the National Guard and waited too long to bring out the Capitol Police. In fact video shows HER Capitol Police opened the doors to the Capitol to allow visitors in—in Democrat language a visitor is a terrorist.
January 6, 2021 Celebration by Richard Eber
Richard Eber, Exclusive to the California Political News and Views 1/7/22
I am sorry you missed my party on January 6th commemorating the first anniversary of the occupation of the Capital by the Proud Boys and other unidentified right wing zealots.
The function was arranged at the last minute so I forgot to send out invitations to all my close friends. It was a great affair that was attended by most of the countries’ power elite from Washington D.C. to Sacramento.
As a start to making this occasion a yearly event a coalition of the ACLU, Black Lives Matter (BLM), and Antifa suggested January 6th be made a National Holiday replacing the 4th of July. They also endorsed adding October 13th, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s (AOC) birthday, to the list of dates when banks are closed.
The most notable individual missing from the party was VP Kamala Harris. Her executive assistant sent regrets saying, “The Vice President has been busy visiting the USA-Mexican border trying to determine the reason so much Fentanyl is being smuggled into the country. Her preliminary findings indicate Donald Trump is responsible for this problem.”
Mayor Pete who is now Transportation Secretary also sent his regrets. He lamented “Between changing diapers and hot water bottles I am spending the rest of my time alleviating congestion in Long Beach by playing cribbage with the Longshoremen at the docks.”
Arrangements were made to make everyone welcome. To appease Woke sensibilities, four different restroom options were made available including, He, She, Both, and Wild Card. In the food pavilion there were special sections for Vegetarian, Organic, Glutton free, Corn fed Beef, Grass Fed meat, Halal-Kosher, sustainably farmed fish, and don’t give a damn.
Humming the words “Nobody does it better” from The Spy that Shagged Me, Eric Swalwell was disappointed there was no Peking Duck could be found at the buffet table.
Mayor Bill de Blasio came to the party uninvited. He immediately ordered that the function be shut down because Dr, Fauci advised him that masks should be worn at all times for large gatherings. People started filing out when someone yelled out, “Bill, Your term of office is over. Get lost buddy!”
For semi-conservatives there was even a special Republican in Name Only (RHINO) Lounge. This room was jammed (mostly with Californian’s) who pretend to support the GOP yet failed to vote for Donald Trump in 2020. To make things more confusing, this group often favors the Democrats Socialistic agenda.
Go figure?
Rep. Adam Schiff briefly attended but soon departed after spotting a bottle of Stolichnaya in the no host cocktail bar. He remarked “Serving such a brand of vodka is a sure sign of collusion of Russians to infiltrate this event. “ I will immediately follow up with my contacts in the CIA and CNN to investigate this intrusion of our national security.”
Schiff’s paranoia contrasted with Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti who could be found sipping on a Bombay Martini. He said in earnest, “I’m not much of a gin drinker but am doing my best to prepare for the task of being the next United States Ambassador to India. This is a much more pleasant task than dealing with crime, homelessness, rent control, and the L.A. City Council.”
Chicago Mayor Lori Lightfoot had to show an I.D. when she walked in the door because the guards didn’t recognize her wearing a dress. Apparently, she has changed her tune and is now an advocate of high fashion along with law and order. Despite previous pronouncements vilifying the NRA for promoting gun violence in the Windy City, Lightfoot says she is now a friend of the police and Louis Vuitton.
Senator Joe Manchin from West Virginia was surrounded on all sides by those hurling insults at him while others were heaping praise upon him. One Woke critic said, “I thought you were a loyal Democrat? Isn’t it a law that that one is required to vote exactly like Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi? You should be impeached for such disloyalty.”
Cool as a cucumber Manchin replied, “Haven’t you read a copy of John F. Kennedy’s Profiles in Courage”? His Woke critic replied, “That was a bit before my time. Us Progressives have not studied history prior to when Obama was inaugurated. Everything before this date has been canceled.”
Anticipating the visit by the VIP Governor of California, a special bottle of wine was set aside for Gavin Newsom. He expressed pleasure that his favorite vintage from the French Laundry 2020 Lobbyist Reserve Chateau de Pimp was allowed to breathe to enhance the mouth feel and finish.
After arriving at the party Nancy Pelosi seemed to be a little bit upset. When asked if anything was amiss, the Speaker of the House retorted “I thought this event was going to be a non-partisan affair. How could this be when there are so many Republicans in attendance?
Apparently the presence on her The U.S. House Select Committee to Investigate the January 6th Attack on the United States Capitol GOP members Rep. Liz Chaney and Adam Kinzinger, did not appease Pelosi enough; even though the two were hanging out at the Rhino Lounge.
Making up for Kamala’s absence, Joe Biden was one of the first arrivals. Somewhat confused he asked if a Bingo game had been scheduled. When advised this was not the case the President remarked “At least we won’t miss the early bird special like the one at Mass I look forward to so much each week in Delaware”
His son Hunter seemed to be out of sorts as well. Dressed in an outfit more suited to impersonate Pablo Picasso on Halloween, he shrugged off any criticism saying, “You know how it is with us artists.”
