While this is satire—in most ways it is the real life of the hostages in California. These are people that can not afford to leave the State. Most in California live lives of desperation—high taxes, high food, energy and water costs. Housing costs force families to live in slums and small homes and apartments.
“Son: But, Mom, I need my blue sweatshirt for school on Monday.
Mother: No problem. I have to run the dishwasher later and will wash it then.
Father: Let’s go out tonight for a family dinner!
Mother: Sounds wonderful. The usual?
Father: Yup. Costco samples and then their $1.50 hot dog and drink.”
Satire? Yes. Truth? Yes. This is what it is like living in a totalitarian society—but with cell phones and plasma TV’s.
A typical day in the life of a California family
By Robin M. Itzler, American Thinker, 4/5/23
The tax, housing, crime, and homeless situation in California have become extremely difficult for many people, which explains why thousands have left and continue to leave the Golden State. Consider that, from December and March, the state had several major rainstorms, but that, because of environmentalist pressure about new reservoirs, much of the water drained to the sea, so the drought remains in effect. Gas and electricity costs have skyrocketed since November. Violent crime surges in most Democrat-run cities. Homeless people (many with mental health issues) create filthy tent cities wherever they find a patch of grass or wide sidewalk. And all this exists along with Bidenflation on the side.
I recently had breakfast with a California family to better understand how they are coping.
Mother: Okay, time for breakfast, so we’ll divide one hard-boiled egg into four pieces. Let’s imagine the lettuce is bacon.
Father: I am going to water the backyard lawn this morning. Whose turn is it to share the water?
Daughter: It’s my turn to shower while we water the grass!
Son: But, Mom, I need my blue sweatshirt for school on Monday.
Mother: No problem. I have to run the dishwasher later and will wash it then.
Father: Let’s go out tonight for a family dinner!
Mother: Sounds wonderful. The usual?
Father: Yup. Costco samples and then their $1.50 hot dog and drink.
Mother: Sheesh. The sun isn’t out yet, so the house still feels cold.
Father: Turn on the floor heater, and I will warm up my coffee at the same time.
Son: I thought we had to limit our electricity use.
Father: If you read the notice, it says electricity rates are the lowest between 8 and 8:10 a.m.
Mother: No, dear, that was the gas company. For electricity, the super-duper off-peak time is 9:20 to 9:25 a.m.
Father: You are confusing electricity with water. We can only run the water between 11 and 11:15 to avoid surcharges.
Mother: Wasn’t that the waste announcement about when to use the garbage disposal? By the way, the waste company delivered 15 trash cans so we can put plastic in the green can and organic food in the red can.
Father: No, it’s plastic in the blue can and pet waste in the purple can.
Mother: I thought it was newspapers in the purple can. And, of course, beverage bottles go in the yellow trash can, and food takeout containers go in the orange can.
Son: While we’re on the subject, I think it’s grass in the brown trash can and clothing in the navy can.
Daughter: Read the flyer. Personal hygiene items in the pink trash can, and dairy food in the black can.
Mother: Where are we going to put all these trash cans?
Son: How about the empty swimming pool?
Father: No worries, we can figure it out!
Everyone laughs …
Daughter: Can I borrow the car to go shopping?
Father: Of course, but don’t drive more than half a mile since we took the discount insurance plan that keeps the annual premium below $2,000 if we only drive 50 miles per year.
Mother: And be careful pulling out of the driveway. I don’t want you hitting that homeless person’s shopping cart.
Son: When are we buying an electric car to save the planet? AOC says the earth will soon disappear unless we all buy electric cars.
Father: We will buy a new $75,000 electric car as soon as I pay off the loan for the 1978 Gremlin.
Son: Last night, I had trouble getting my cable shows.
Mother: Oh, we canceled cable.
Son: Really? Then I guess I’ll get them online.
Father: We canceled Wi-Fi.
Son: Fine! I’ll use my phone.
Mother: We canceled that, too.
Daughter: What!? I need my phone!
Son: Me too!!
Father: Children, give it a few weeks, and we’re sure Governor Newsom will come to our rescue and send us our rebate checks. In the meantime, go to Starbucks.
Mother: It’s a small sacrifice so illegal aliens can get free housing, free medical, and free education. Do you really want all those homeless people in front of our house to go without?
Daughter: My history teacher says the same. She just got back from her honeymoon in Cuba and shared photos.
Father: Dear, we should plan a trip to Cuba.
Mother: By the way, that is a beautiful dress you are wearing.
Son: Thank you. I decided to change my sex, so please, instead of Barry, start calling me Barbara.
Father: I was wondering why you were wearing a dress.
Daughter: That’s my dress!!!
Mother: I can’t take this bickering. Let’s split that hard-boiled egg and enjoy our breakfast. Barbara, please pass the salt.
This is a parody, but seeing as how I live in California ….
Robin M. Itzler is a regular contributor to American Thinker. She can be reached at [email protected].
